September and January are our two busiest months. After the summer and after the winter break children go back to nursery, and some of them go back protesting.
Settling in has its own rhythm
A difficult goodbye in the cloakroom for the first two or three weeks is typical. The child cries while the parent is there, and ten minutes later is playing with the group. If the staff confirm that the tension drops quickly once the parent has left, time and a predictable goodbye routine are usually enough.
Signals worth checking
It is a different matter when the resistance grows instead of fading, or appears after months of going in calmly. Watch out for:
- physical symptoms: stomach aches and headaches that appear on weekday mornings and disappear at the weekend,
- skills going backwards – bedwetting returning, baby talk, trouble sleeping,
- a change in play: the child acts out scenes that were not there before,
- reports from the nursery that the child stays on the edge of the group all day.
What helps at home
- A short goodbye. Drawing it out raises the tension for both of you. One agreed ritual, the same every day.
- An honest announcement. “I will be back after afternoon snack” works better than “in a moment”, if your child can hold on to a point in the day.
- No promises you cannot keep. “If you don’t like it, I’ll come and get you” buys calm for one morning at the cost of the next ones.
When a consultation is needed
If the symptoms last longer than a month, get stronger, or appear suddenly in a child who used to go without resistance, it is worth talking to a specialist. Sometimes it is about a specific situation in the group, sometimes about a change at home that the child cannot yet put into words.
If the nursery suggests an assessment, bear in mind that in Poland an official opinion for a nursery or school is issued by a public psychological and pedagogical counselling centre (poradnia psychologiczno-pedagogiczna). An assessment in a private practice is a full examination and is often quicker, but it is worth agreeing in advance how the institution will be able to use it.
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